The Little Book of Less=More (How
to change your life by doing less)
January Subjects
for Less=More: FUN, 85 Years Old, Visualisations, Affirmations, My
Possibility, Change Now! Have a Break, Roles in Life, My Updates, Organic
Growth, More, Self Promotion, More of the Less Bit, Organic Goals, Goals,
Vision and Action, Newspapers, TV, Sleep, Less, Introduction.
Subjects so far
this month: Attributional Thinking, Success Motivates, Motivation and Luck, Mind
Maps, Priorities, Word
Strings, Conscious Competence, Morning Pages, Unblocking The Artist (Creative
Expression), Mix with Positive People,
Winning Formula – If you want
something doing then do it yourself, Confidence,
Perspective, Work
Patterns, People, Awareness, Synchronicity,
Breaking Promises!, Equal =, Play
Big in Life and Shine Your Light, What’s the Worst that can Happen?,
Perception, Good Days and Bad Days.
I think it’s
called Attributional Thinking!
It’s how you
think about yourself and others.
A typical example
is that if something goes wrong do blame yourself or others?
If something goes
right do you take credit?
Typical
successful salespeople, take credit if something goes right
and blame others
if it goes wrong.
Sounds about
right!!
Do you take
credit when things go right for you?
Do you blame
yourself too much when things go wrong?
There’s nothing
like having had success before to generate more success.
Having given a
good speech or presentation, you know you can do it again.
Having run good
training or made a good sale or driven a good Go-Kart race, you can see what’s
possible.
“I’ve done it
before I’ll do it again.”
Even with
relationships when they finish. Saying
to yourself, I met and had a good
relationship with someone. I’ve done it
before I’ll do it again.
When my first
marriage broke down after a year and we divorced, I said to myself, I’d met and
had a relationship with someone, it won’t happen immediately, I’m going to give
myself 5 years to meet the right person, settle down, get married and have
children. Blow me down if it didn’t all
happen within 3 years when my daughter was born last year.
Firstly dreams
really do come true and secondly generating success from previous success
doesn’t half help.
Of course what
happens if any of these things are your first time? First presentation, first speech, first
relationship, first girl/boy friend, first drive.
Dunno! I’ll save that for another day’s writing.
I still don’t get
it. I watch sporting events and the
motivation of sportspeople and the luck of sportspeople.
And there’s
something extra, a force beyond motivation, beyond luck.
Fate.
Some people seem
fated to win.
The Aussie speed
skater, last and all the ones in front of him fall!
Goran Ivanisevic
at
Man Utd in most
games like against Aston Villa this week.
What is that
extra force of fate. Some are destined
to win and some are destined to fail.
A fine line.
Can it be
defined, can that essence be captured?
Mindmaps have been
a revelation to me since I was trained to use them.
They’re based on
Tony Buzan’s “The Mindmap Book” which is a way of capturing information
by having a central subject with branches, and information is attached to the
branches.
The more colour
and pictures you put into a Mindmap, the more memorable it becomes.
I wrote my
Wedding Speech on a MindMap and gave the speech reading from the one page.
Mindmaps have
always been handwritten which is great, it get the ideas down physically, but
my one fear has always been drawing a branch and then wanting to change it.
The revolution
for me has been Mindmap Software from MindJet. There’s nothing I can’t do with the
software. Mindmaps, Action Plans,
Training Courses, Webpages. It does the
lot, in a very intuitive way and has drag and drop features to illustrate the
MindMap and change it.
After The Artist’s Way book, if there’s one thing you do
in life, buy the Tony Buzan book and the Mindjet software.
Go on treat
yourself, have a play.
It’s important to
know your personal wins and other peoples’ personal wins which aren’t
necessarily the same.
Every 6 months I
prioritise my personal wins into a priority list. I keep a note of the priorities until next
time, when I run the same exercise and compare them. I’ve been noting my priorities since 1992.
I took the list
of priorities from a book, “Overcoming Indecisiveness by Theodore Isaac Rubin” In the book, Theodore Rubin lists Common
Priorities to put on our “personal scale of importance”. Here they are;
I write each one
on a piece of card and then spend some time rearranging the cards comparing
each item and coming up with an order of priorities.
You would be
amazed at how different the priorities are if you do this exercise and compare
them with someone else.
Think I’ll do
mine now.
On a spreadsheet.
Mmm, just done
it. Interesting!!!!
Ever just tried
to string a set of words together and see what happens. Let’s give it a go because I can’t think of
what to write about today.
Red, Man Utd,
Ferguson, Busby, Walter Winterbottom (there you go already, he died on Saturday, former England Manager, and I didn’t
know that he played for Man Utd), Alf Ramsey, Ipswich, St Edmundsbury, Chris
Woodhouse, Mahmoud Shomali, David Addey, Deevo, Baby, Georgia, Annie, Formula,
Mindmap, PowerPoint, DMR, Philip Morris, Melbourne Grand Prix, Ferrari,
Schumacher, Schumacher, Jack Charlton, Bobby Charlton, George Best, Parkinson,
Beckham, Posh Spice, Gerri
Which is what I’m
writing!
Think of learning
to drive a car.
When you first
start learning to drive you have to think of every movement, and you’re not
very good.
That Conscious
Incompetence.
You are aware
that you are Incompetent.
After a while and
lots of driving practise you become Competent at driving as a learner, but you
are aware of the moves you’re making.
That’s Conscious
Competence.
Once you’ve
learnt to drive, passed your test and been driving for while, you do most
things without even thinking about it.
In fact most of the time driving you can’t remember a damn thing. It’s like when you asked your Dad or Mum, or
someone learning to drive asks you what you do, you have to think about it
because it’s so automatic.
That’s
Unconscious Competence.
Finally you get
into bad driving habits, but you’re not even aware of the bad habits.
That’s
Unconscious Incompetence.
If someone makes
you aware of your bad driving habits, and you notice them, you’re right back to
Conscious Incompetence.
So you have in
order;
Conscious
Incompetence
Conscious
Competence
Unconscious
Competence
Unconscious
Incompetence
And then back to
Conscious Incompetence.
It’s the same
with everything you do. When you’re new
to things you are Consciously aware how crap you are. But in time and with experience you become
Competent.
The problem is
you stop noticing how you are with people and how even you are with yourself.
Time to take a
Check.
How well are you
doing?
Is there anything
you could do better, or should stop doing?
You want to
change the world? Then I suggest you
read Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron and get down to those morning pages.
What are morning
pages?
3 pages of
handwritten A4 first thing when you wake up in the morning!
Holy Shit you
might say.
But it
works. Mind you the reason I’m writing
this today is because I missed writing mine for the first time in over a month,
yesterday so this is my punishment.
It really
works. Firstly, it gets you into the
discipline of making time for yourself.
What else do you
think you’re going to do with the half hour to hour it takes, that is as
productive as 3 pages of A4?
And believe me,
the writing builds up substantially very quickly as no sooner do you know it
than you have that book you always thought you’d write.
So firstly it’s
about discipline with time, and just as important it helps you gather your
thoughts.
Review what you
did yesterday, look further into the past, look deep into the past.
Come back and see
how you are right now writing this, and then on to today, tomorrow and the
future.
You’d be amazed
at how many successful people, and not just Artist’s, journal in the morning.
Every time I come
back to doing it, amazing things happen.
I started again
at the beginning of Jan 2002 as a New Years resolution and to make 2002 the
year of writing,
so it sets me up
at the beginning of the day for the rest of my work.
Ok so I don’t
absolutely do it first thing every morning.
Given that
And besides, I
download my emails from overnight, and have a quick look at the BBC news and
Football news.
Then I write.
When you first
read The Artist’s Way, it can be difficult to handwrite 3 pages.
But after a while
you know what’s possible and the tricks to fill the page when you’re not in the
mood.
I also have an
affirmation which I write down every day.
Ok I’ll say it here.
“Who I am is the
possibility of INTEGRITY CREATIVITY
INSPIRATION LOVE FUN
This is who I am.”
You can also add
other affirmations on.
Right that pads
it out for a few lines.
If you’re really
struggling then write down “I am really struggling” as many times as you like.
Occasionally I
will just write a string of words one after the other, I’ll do it now,
“Carlton,
Cigarettes, Marlboro, Red, Man Utd, Ruud, Dirty, Mud, Claire Jones, Tri-cycle,
Bonfire, Nov 5th, Feb 6th, Ronald Reagan, Spitting Image,
Steve Davis, Snooker, David Vine, Monopoly, Cluedo, Prof Plum, Lilac, Georgia,
Annie, Merv, Joan, Melbourne, Sea, Boat, Sail.”
Interesting
because it’s taken me to Sail and sailing, and made me wonder about learning to
sail and other dreams.
Writing has been
one of the most difficult things all my life.
I’m
dyslexic. My English has always been
appalling. I failed my English ‘O’ Level
first time.
I was always on
report at school for low grades in English.
Sciences were my
best subject. I’ve never been able to
physically write. Ask my friends and
family what my handwriting is like.
A 7 year olds.
And yet a few
years ago whilst training, I needed to write some written work.
The witting was
whatever I wanted in what ever style I wanted.
And I’ve never looked back. I
love writing now.
Correction. I love writing for me. If I have to write my CV or a proposal or a
business letter, I hate it because I’m trying to conform to what I think people
want to hear.
This though is
easy.
The best way I
can describe it is to imaging you’re sending emails to friends. Use your email style and voice.
After my written
work I started the Artist’s Way, and I’ve never looked back.
Morning Pages.
If there’s one
thing you do in life, buy the book, read the book, and write the morning pages.
My favourite book
with my all time favourite exercise (Artist’s Way p73).
“Many blocked
people are actually very powerful and creative personalities who have been made
to feel guilty about their own strengths and gifts. Without being acknowledge, they are often
used as batteries by their families and friends, who feel free to both use
their creative energies and disparage them….. Made to feel guilty for their
talents, they often hide their light under a bushel for fear of hurting
others. Instead, they hurt themselves….
When you complete
the following phrases, you may feel strong emotion as you retrieve memories and
misplaced fragments of yourself. Allow
yourself to free-associate for a sentence or with each phrase.
Have Fun!!
Don’t let
negative people drag you down.
Mix with positive
people. People who encourage you.
I don’t mean
eternal optimists who are more annoying than anything else.
I don’t know why
but so many people are so negative and want to keep others in their boxes.
My Mum’s always
said,
“Anthony, it’s
because they’re jealous”
Ok Mum (always
listen to your mother!)
I don’t’ think
it’s just that.
I don’t know what
it is. Comfort in holding others
back? Protecting them against a fall?
Persist. Don’t forget all the writers, actors,
business people who’ve faced rejection after rejection but somehow
persist. Often leading to greater
success.
If you can, ditch
or avoid negative people.
Ok you need a
reality check, but does it have to be a negative one?
Winning Formulas
are what we learn as kids to cope with in the world.
Apparently we all
have 3 winning formulas which we develop at 3 stages of our childhood and teen
years.
Mine are:
Things happen to
us as children where we develop a coping strategy. And our Winning Formulas
serve us well, they protect us, it’s something to fall back on.
But they can be
limiting. The help us to play small and
stay with what we know and feel comfortable with.
If we want to
change and grow, our winning formulas give us a narrow view of the world.
They’re very
difficult to let go of because they’re so comfortable.
Have a think
about what your winning formulas may be.
What things do
you say to yourself that helps you cope.
What big events
happened in your childhood and teens and what did you learn from them and say
to yourself.
Here’s how my
third winning formula was developed.
My Dad died when I was 16. I’d just started 6th form to study
for my ‘A’ Levels. I struggled for 2
years and finally got 4 low grade ‘A’ Levels.
With my A Level grades I wasn't going to go to the Universities I chose. I didn't know what to do. Should I retake or do something else. Firstly like a good boy I went to my teacher
responsible for University placements.
"What do you want to do?"
“Business Studies?"
"What about Polytechnics?"
"I'd be happy with that, I've looked at a few."
So the Teacher on my behalf phones a Polytechnic. And to paraphrase what
he said,
"Hello, I have a pupil here who didn't get the grades he needed for
University, will you take him."
"NO"
Well, even to an innocent 18 year old I could see that telling an education
establishment that they're the bottom of a well scraped barrel wasn't exactly
going to work. So I don't know why I did
it but a went to the Wilmslow Careers Office!
A really cool guy in there advised me,
"Well Tony, what would you ideally like to do?"
"Business Studies at University."
"Ok, let's see what we can do, what about trying for a course that
doesn't have 'Business' or 'Studies' in it's name, but is Business
Studies."
"Well in 5th form I was very interested in a course at
"Ok Tony, we'll give them a call!"
"But you can't do that, you can’t call a University direct, you
have to go through clearing!"
"Yes you can Tony. Look at
it from their point of view, they have to fill their course or they lose
funding."
So he called them.
"I have a student here who would like to do your course and he has
these grades. Yes...., good....., does
he need to come for an interview?.... fine....."
Tony you're at
I went back to my school Teachers.
They went ballistic. One teacher went mad at me, did his fruit.
How dare I contact a University direct, you can't do that, it's not
right, let us handle it, we'll have to report you etc etc.
That's the day I grew up. My
School let many people down, and I was lucky to find a way through using my own
resources and not trusting my life in the hands of those idiots. I had 4 great years at
So the moral of the story is:
“If you want something doing then do it yourself.”
And largely this is true. No one
else is going to do it for you. And only
you have your real interests (and understand your interests) at heart. You may need support and help on the way, but
it’s down to you.
Of course this is one of my Winning Formulas which both helps me and
restricts me from being a “Team Player”
That’s the answer
isn’t it.
You do it because
you believe you can.
I remember
Michael Parkinson interviewing Barbara Castle about how she became a women MP.
She simply
believed that anything was possible and she believed she could become an MP.
So she did!
I get so inspired
by some of the guests on Parkinson, many who seem to have had success in spite
of themselves.
Confidence. That’s a difficult one. Self Belief.
Often it comes
because you’ve done the thing before and know you can do it again.
Like when you’ve
given a good presentation or speech, it gives you the confidence to do it
again, by saying to yourself that you’ve done it before.
Or someone
inspires you. I’ve written this before
but the long line of British middle distance runners that Steve Ovett began.
Swedish tennis
players that Bjorn Borg started. Even
this week I knew that the Swedes would come through against Henman and Rusedski
though 2-1 down and playing in
But what if it’s
your first time. Where does your
confidence come from then?
A spark. What is that spark that sets these things
off?
Sometimes it’s
not even a spark, it’s just perspiration rather than inspiration.
We just see the
glamorous spark on Parkinson, and not the hard work and toil and persistence.
What comes to
mind is Paul McCartney recently interviewed on Parkinson, worrying about
success of his latest album because his ego doesn’t take into account his past
success, only his desire to be liked and successful now.
And Gary Player
“The more I practise the Luckier I get.”
So if you haven’t
got it you can always Perspire!
Stand someone in
front of you, hold a book up to them and ask them to describe exactly what they
see.
Now you’re both
looking at a book, but what one of you sees is the front of the book what the
other sees is the back.
That’s
perspective for you.
Now if the book
was a conversation and you were both asked to describe what you saw, you may
tell two completely different stories about the same event. The implication would be that one of you was
lying.
This happens all
too often when two people contradict each other with their stories.
And that’s what
recall is, a story about an event with our perspective on it. It doesn’t necessarily mean the other person
is lying.
I sound so
reasonable here when I write this but believe me, I need to continually remind
myself of perspective, when dealing with those lying bastards!
When times are
tough and you’re having a bad day, just remember to change perspective, reframe
it.
Sometime feelings
about the same situation can change hugely.
The event can stay the same but our perspective changes.
Take my crying 4
month old daughter.
My Mum said to me
tonight,
“Appreciate when
she is crying, clingy and wants to sleep in your bed because they won’t always
want to hug you!”
And now I can’t
wait for her to wake up and cry so I can cuddle her.
Perspective
Changed!
Of course as well
as your life and people, you can apply Less=More to your work.
What work things
are you going to do less of.
Again, this
doesn’t mean you just give up on some things you’re doing straight away.
Just be aware of
the work things that you want to be doing less of, should be doing less.
What work things
would you like to do more of? What would
be Fun? What would help you to be doing
more of?
What clients/customer
should you be having Less of and More of?
Go on, give it a
go for work related items.
Often a pattern
becomes very clear.
Not only can you
apply Less Equal More to time, but you can also do it with people.
Work Colleagues,
Family, Friends!
Who are the
people you enjoy being with?
And who are the
people who drain your energy, suck you very soul dry;
the people you
come away from meeting and you feel drained, exhausted and discouraged?
Time to have Less
of them and put them in the Less column.
Remember this is
dynamic and can be changed at any time.
Go on, work out
the people at work who drain your energy.
Why would you
want to associate with them?
Ok, one of them
may be your boss. You can still put them
in the Less column.
You’re aiming for
Less of them, and you know that the more time you spend with them the less
likely you are to achieve your dreams and goals.
And there’s one
particular type of person that I seem to have a fatal addiction to.
The Office Bore. You ask them how they are doing, and they
tell you for the next half an hour, and it’s very boring and at the end of it
you either want to scream or sleep.
Why do I do it,
time and time again? Put them in the
less of column and steer well clear.
Who are the
negative people at work who dismiss your every suggestion? Get rid, less of them.
Who are the
people who encourage you? You want more
of them.
Who are the
people who after meeting and seeing you come away more energised than before?
Get all the
people at work into one big spreadsheet of 3 columns More Equal Less and see if
any pattern occurs.
Remember it’s
dynamic you can change it as often as you like.
Move people around. Have fun with
it.
Family and
Friends can also be thought of in terms of More Equal Less.
In general Family
and Friends like you just the way you are.
Fine. That’s very supportive.
But if you are
trying to change or do something very different or radical then they may not be
so supportive.
Why would they
want you to change? They like it just
the way it is. Including the amount of
success you have.
It’s a comfort to
them to have you just where you are and pigeon holed.
So if you’re
trying to change things, have a think about who you want in your More column,
Equal and Less.
Putting your Dad
in the Less column doesn’t mean you love him any less; just to be aware that
time with him drains your energy.
Or a friend of
many years who is always negative about any new ideas you have.
Notice that. How often do some friends tell you, “That
won’t work.”?And you always go to them with your ideas!
Ok friends are
good for giving a different perspective, but isn’t it amazing how some are
positive and interested in what you’re doing and others aren’t.
It’s not as
though the positive ones lead you into trouble, and the negative ones save you.
Get those columns
down.
Which people are
you going to spend More time with, Equal time with, Less time with?
It’s just a
reminder for what’s going on when you’re with someone in your Less of column.
I had one friend
in the Less of column and each time I met them, I was more aware of how
negative they are about everything I do.
And blow me down
if for the first time they weren’t recently positive about something. Time to promote them.
Life is too short
for people who are negative and drain your energy. Have Less of them. You know who they are.
Gaining
awareness, being present, is often the most difficult thing we face.
We’ve been given
a brain and consciousness and often we use to worry about the future and fret
about the past,
when in reality,
all there is, is the present, the here and now.
What has gone
before we can do nothing about, and what is going to happen we can’t know.
Being present and
gaining awareness of the present is often the best thing we can do, especially
when stressed.
Sometimes we need
to disconnect from our thinking.
How?
Using your five
senses.
Become aware of
what you can hear right now.
Become aware of
what you can touch and feel in your body right now.
Become aware of
what you can see right now.
Become aware of
what you can taste right now
Become aware of
what you can smell right now.
And become aware
of your breathing, the air passing over your nostrils and the rise and fall of
your chest and stomach as you breath.
There are many
techniques for gaining awareness and I’m no expert in them though I have learnt
and practised a few.
Some things just
are! One of the most stupid and yet
profound things I ever heard and I can’t forget is,
“A three legged
dog just is a three legged dog!
A three legged
dog doesn’t mourn or regret the loss of its leg, it just is a three legged dog,
It doesn’t make
any meaning over the loss of its leg.
It just gets one
with being a three legged dog.
It just is.
It’s not a good
thing or a bad thing being a three legged dog,
It just is a
three legged dog”
Coincidence,
Serendipity, Chance, Fate
A lot of books
talk about using coincidence and serendipity to drive change.
I agree.
I’m always amazed
at how fate can sometimes deal its hand.
Three books which
talk of Synchronicity are,
The Celestine Prophecy – James Redfield
The Psychology of Achievement – Brian Tracy
And my favourite,
The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron
Keep a look out
for fate dealing you the hand you dream of.
Will you know
what to do when you get it?
“Answered prayers
are scary. They imply
responsibility. You asked for it. Now you’ve got it, what are you going to do?
Why else the
cautionary phrase,
“Watch out for
what you pray for; you just might get it”
Answered prayers
deliver us back to our own hand. This is
not comfortable. We find it easier to
accept them as examples of synchronicity: (and not do something with them!)
Incidents like
those above happen to us, and yet we dismiss them as sheer coincidence. “Julia
Cameron
Are you ready for
synchronicity, to identify it and use it as a guide to realising your dreams?
Today, I went to
a meeting. There was a gas leak and the
building had been evacuated as I was parking my car.
I couldn’t find
the person I was meeting.
So I went to look
for him.
Met his
colleague.
Sat down for a
coffee, was introduced to another colleague, got chatting and I’m arranging to
have a separate meeting now.
Some of the names
we discussed I have in my notes from asking colleagues in the
So I turned up
for a meeting today, and things have gone on a completely different tangent.
I drove past a
large advert board, and in the corner of my eye the phrase on the advert read
something like,
“We make websites
conversational”
Now that sounds
very Cluetrain.
Wonder where they
got it from, must check it out, I’ve been looking for a clued company.
It’s my Birthday
today and I wasn’t sure about what I was going to write about.
I thought it
would be some grand summary of the last year and my hopes for this year,
but what came to
mind was Promises.
I was in a
seminar just over 2 years ago and the seminar leaders asked the audience,
“Do you always
keep your promises?”
It didn’t take me
a split second on this one. I always
keep my promises. I can’t think of a
promise I’ve never kept.
Integrity, it’s
my big thing.
“Well,” the
leader asked, “does that mean that because you always keep your promises, you
make sure that what you promise, you keep?”
Yes, of course
idiot
“If you make
promises you always keep then does that mean, the things you promise are a
certainty”
Yes. Get on with it!
“So does that
mean that you only make small promises for fear of breaking large promises?”
POW!! It hit me.
That’s exactly
what I do.
I always keep my
promises, and I only make small promises so I won’t break my promise.
Is that not a bit
limiting, playing small again?
Being miserly
with myself?
Have a think
about it.
Do you only make
small promises?
Does that mean
that you never make big promises and hence lead a very small life?
I get it, I truly
get it, that if I make big promises then I will have the commitment to make
sure they happen, but if they don’t at least I grew bigger.
I realise that
this is one of the limiting factors in my life.
I only make small promises. I’m
seen as reliable and keeping my word, but I play small with small promises.
Time for some big
promises.
What do you do
with your promises?
I haven’t yet
talked about the Equal bit as in Less=More.
Most things end
up either in what you’re going to do Less of,
or what you’re
going to do More of.
I’ve found that
the Equal bit acts either as a holding place for something that you’re about
get rid of,
or something
you’re tiring of, or something that you don’t feel comfortable about doing Less
of,
and it acts as a
reminder to not do any More of it.
The other thing
that I’ve found I put in the Equal column are big time consuming things that I
enjoy like Tennis which I want to play the same amount of, but my commitment is
to restrict it to a specific time or times each week.
So instead of
playing when I want to or playing twice a week as and when, I commit to play
twice a week, Tuesday evenings and Sunday mornings come what may. And if I can’t make those times I don’t play.
It becomes a
disciplined way of keeping the things you want to keep, but not letting them
eat into those precious 24 hours per day.
Life’s too short
to play small. Play Big.
“This is the true joy in
life, the being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one, the
being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments
and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making me
happy.
I am of the opinion that my
life belongs to the whole community and, as long as I live, it is my privilege
to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for
the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own
sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I've
got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as
possible before handing it on to future generations.”
George Bernard Shaw,1902
Push the boundaries. Stop
Playing Small. Stop Hiding your light
under a bushel.
“Our deepest fear is not that
we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we
are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our
darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to
be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not
serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened
about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as
children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us;
it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light
shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our
own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Nelson Mandela
(Marianne Williamson))
Go serve the world by playing
Big.
Shine your light!
Susan Jeffers
talks about Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (the tape is good, I haven’t
read the book).
“Whatever
happens, I’ll handle it”
Sometimes it’s
worth tracking back to what our route cause of fear is.
What is the worst
that can happen?
I once did this
exercise and kept tracking back.
I could lose
everything. Go on.
I could become
depressed. Go on.
I may end up a
depressed down and out with nothing. Go
on.
If I was a
depressed down and out with nothing, I’d have nothing to lose. Go on.
Actually, as a
depressed down and out with nothing, I can see myself playing chess in
And I’d quite
like to be playing chess in
So there you go.
I fear losing everything. I fear
depression.
And I’ll end up
playing chess in
And of course……..
“That which
doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.”
Albert Camus
This is often a
difficult one to explain.
Perception is
obviously how we perceive things!
But you can
change perception.
I once said to
someone,
“My problem is
I’d much rather be playing tennis than filling in my Tax Returns, and so I
never get round to filling in my Tax Returns.”
And they replied
back,
“Of course that’s
because you perceive playing Tennis as being more enjoyable than Filling in Tax
Returns”
I didn’t get it
at first but then the penny dropped.
Just because I
have designated hitting and chasing a felt bouncy round object with a piece of
wood/carbon and strings as being more enjoyable than spending some quiet time remembering
and putting blue inky stuff on a piece of woody stuff, is just down to
perception.
Change the
perception. You can do that with almost
anything.
Allen Carr is the
master at doing this with his books Easy Way to Stop Smoking and Easyweigh to Lose Weight.
He gets you to change your perception say of the foods you think you
like.
We have not
problem with eating a Cow, but we won’t eat a Dog.
Why? Perception.
We drink the milk
of a Cow but would be disgusted with drinking the milk of a Dog. Yuck.
It’s putting me
off milk, any milk. And that’s the way
it works.
Changing
Perception.
And finally when
you’re trying to work out who is telling the truth, there is always a binary
assumption that one person is lying and one person is telling the truth. But maybe the see the same thing but from a
different angle, and therefore the perception of an object can be different for
the same object. Similarly, people can
tell two completely different stories about what they heard and what was said,
but one of them is not necessarily lying.
One of the best
pieces of advice I’ve ever been given is,
“You don’t have
good days and bad days, you have good hours and bad hours.”
Don’t let
something ruin your whole day. See it as
a bad hour. You never know there might
be a good hour to follow.
If it’s really
bad then see life as a roller coaster.
The Good will return, even if you can’t see it at the time.
And whilst we’re
on it, my favourite saying and the only one I can remember;
“That which
doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.”
Albert Camus.