TG’s WEBlog (Known
as a BLOG or Blogging) 2003
January Blogs: Off
to Lorne, e-networking, Chess, Sports Day, Genes, Kill the Peer, More Networking Theory, Morphing
Fun, Two Types of Salespeople, Intellectual
Property at School, Bowling for
Columbine, Chinese Maglev, and 10
year predictions, New Weapons, Man United, What’s Wrong with British Sport,
Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel, SPAM, Inventing Fun, SUN, Search Optimizer,
Camden High, And Even More Contacts,
Teenage Nightmares, Receiving it Back, Weasel, Diet, Networking, Technology 2003, Top Weblogs,
Back to Tennis and My New T-Shirt, Moneymaking, Get Connected, Gravity
Travels at the Speed of Light!, Mapping
Coincidence, Hot Day, Scary, Theories of Networking, Evil,
Google Fun, Georgia’s First Words, Back Ache and Update, Happy New Year Resolutions
Feb Blogs: Fast Company on the Money, Man Utd at Juventus, and
Parenthood, Fast Company of Friends, and
Networking, Values Journey, War Deaths, Whoever Makes the Most Mistakes
Wins, World Politics, Who is Tony? False Memory Syndrome, Ideas into Money,
Georgia’s First Day at Crèche and EFT,
You Never Know, Monday
All Change, Time for Change, Sleepless n Seattle, and 1993, Valentines Day, and a Puzzle, Ignorant Enough to Make a Fortune,
First Day at School – Improv, The Office – The End?, Man Draws with Machine, The Shuttle, Sick of Doctors, More Network Mapping, Network Mapping, 42
Happy Birthday!, Wisdom,
Dating, and more Jacko, Michael Jackson, Chess Distraction, EFT, Ultrasound
Risks, Shuttle Disaster,
Great Ocean Road, Digital Licensing.
Friday 28th Feb 2003
Fast Company magazine this month
has some great articles on money.
Not investment or
any of that shit, but what money means to us, what money buys us, and can it buy
us happiness.
Found a great
quote in one of the articles.
“Sperling dislikes the goal-oriented mind-set
that drives many businesspeople. “If you have a goal, you’re constrained by
that goal, “he says. “You should never delude yourself into thinking that you
know exactly where you’re going.””
And he should
know. Read the article.
The Hard Life and Restless Mind of
America's Education Billionaire
Thursday 27th Feb 2003
Not much to
report today.
I’ve hardly been
on the PC today, and not much Internet Surfing.
And I haven’t really
digested Man United’s win against Juventus in Turin.
I noticed it in
someone’s newspaper last night on the train as I was getting off the train.
I couldn’t
believe it, I had to pull a newspaper out of the bin and flick through it.
I cheered in
delight muttering to myself, and a women sitting next to the bin looked at me
as though I was a tramp rummaging through the bin muttering to myself!!
And I’m too tired
for anything profound tonight so I’d better leave it at that.
Georgia had her
third day at crèche yesterday, and apparently cried quite a bit.
It still
absolutely guts me the thought of us leaving her there for the day and her
crying, even for a short time.
Parenthood!
Wednesday 26th Feb 2003
I went to a great
networking meeting tonight.
In fact it was a
networking meeting about networking, with four guest speakers.
Not so much
speaking at us as sitting together round a table.
What a great
bunch of people.
At last I’ve
found what I’ve been looking for here in Melbourne.
At least 6
networks of people coming together tonight, each with groups of people of
really high calibre, and what seems like integrity and intelligence and
contribution.
Firstly, Peter
who arrange the meeting at the Melbourne convenor of Fast Company’s Company of Friends.
Horace of First Friday Group
Warren of B2B Cafe
Sue of Newcomers Network
And the other
people who attended were all people looking for something a bit different.
What a great and
inspiring group tonight.
There is hope!
And of course
some great points made tonight.
One which has
really stuck with me, is the idea that network groups should have a high churn
rate, because if it’s the same people meeting every week or month it becomes static
and defeats the whole point of networking.
Lots of other
suggestions, as to why these guys organise networks, what maximum size group
meeting works, how to get government funding, and lots more.
Tuesday 25th Feb 2003
Been on a training
course all day so nothing much to write about.
It’s a tool
called Values Journey which you use to
look at your current and desired values.
Website not very
good but the tool and methodology is very good.
It’s the third
time in 3 months that I’ve looked at my values and my desired values.
Not much change
but it’s inspiring to work through my values to what I want to achieve.
I also ran the
Values Journey with Annie, my wife, tonight, and we have quite a lot in common.
I might as well
write my desired values here to fill a bit of space after a busy day.
Health, Family,
Integrity, Quality of Life, Curiosity.
Creativity,
Courage, Faith, Open Mindedness, Fairness, Contribution, Security, Loyalty,
Intimacy, Friendship, Achievement, Wealth, Ambition, Intelligence.
Monday 24th Feb 2003
Here it is, in
answer to my own question of just how many people die in each conflict, I’ve
found a fairly definitive website.
Twentieth Century Atlas - Death Tolls
What I like about
this guy, Matthew White, is what he has to say and how he says it.
For starters
check the comments at the bottom of the Death Tolls page from the link above.
Just a few bits
from it.
“"...
numbers matter ... correct numbers."
This sentence is fraught with
complications.
Firstly, the numbers only
matter in a sociological, scientific sense; they certainly don't matter in any meaningful
moral sense. For example, the American Revolution killed anywhere from 40,000
to 100,000 people, which is many, many
orders of magnitude higher than the number of people that were dying under the
British tyranny the colonials were so upset about. Was it worth 50,000 lives to
create an independent United States rather than to peacefully evolve into a
bigger Canada? The answer to that question, of course, has to be decided on the
basis of intangible principles, rather than a simple mathematical formula of
comparative body counts.
Secondly, as to the concept
of "correct numbers"... where to start?
Although we all know that a
butcher is a butcher whether he murders a thousand or a million, as a practical
matter we are often forced to chose the lesser of two evils -- Hitler vs.
Stalin, Mao vs. Chiang, Castro vs. Batista, Sandinista vs. Contra. We can argue
the intangibles all day long and still not decide, so sooner or later someone
is going to get the bright idea that numbers are objective, so let's just
compare body counts.
Simple, scientific.
The problem is that the
numbers aren't objective. As
long as the moral meaning of an event is in dispute, the numbers will be in
dispute. Until we agree on the interpretation of the event, we won't agree on
the death toll.”
And a bit more,
“I sometimes wonder if the only solution
to this endless bickering is either to admit that all death tolls are
subjective, or else to decide that morality is not mathematical so it really
doesn't matter who killed more than whom.
Each of
these solutions, however, creates uncomfortable philosophical implications. The
first implies that death tolls exist merely as quantum probabilities that only
collapse into certainties when we agree. This means that if we, as a society,
decide that a certain horror never happened, then it really, absolutely never happened. Taken a
few steps further, this implies that the past has no independent, absolute
existence beyond our memories and interpretations of it, and that it's all
myth.
I suspect
that most of us would lean towards the second solution. After all, very few of
us would have a problem consigning both Adolf Hitler (15 million murders) and
Idi Amin (300 thousand murders) to the same circle of Hell despite the 50:1
ratio in their death tolls. But if we're willing to ignore a 50:1 ratio to make
Hitler and Amin moral equals, then we can just as easily find a moral
equivalence between 300,000 deaths and 6,000. Pretty soon, we've removed the
shear scale of the crimes from consideration, and because every ruler, no
matter how benign, is probably responsible for at least one unjust or
unnecessary death, we're claiming a moral equivalence between, say, Winston
Churchill and Adolf Hitler (which -- and do I really need to say this? -- there
isn't). Not only does this foul Churchill with Hitler crimes, but it also
whitewashes Hitler with Churchill's virtues. After all, if two people begin as
moral equals, then it doesn't take much to tilt the balance and make one of
them (either of them) morally superior. Maybe even Hitler.”
And he has some impressive graphical maps and statistics as well
as some fun and onions on people and events of the 20th Century.
This is just what I was looking for,
You look at the map and you think, this Iraq thing is really about
oil.
This isn’t about stopping death and tyranny.
Look at the real places of death and tyranny on the map.
Who sell the arms and technology that makes this all possible?
And I final point about Matthew White’s website.
He makes the point that “Technology” is the most
underestimated aspect of the 20th Century, simply because when we
look back in a few hundred years, we’ll not see the World Wars which will merge
into each other, but as a century in terms of technology achievements.
“Every book I've read
which calls itself as a history of the 20th Century (as well as my own website)
focuses on wars, elections, revolutions and legislation. They usually spend
several pages discussing Hermann Goering, a mere Nazi toady, while completely
ignoring Philo Farnsworth, the man who probably invented television.
Let's face it, two
hundred years from now, no one will bother to differentiate between our World
Wars any more than we differentiate between the various Wars of Somebody's
Succession, but they will be
teaching that the technology that emerged in this century changed the world
more drastically than any election or war ever did”.
Sunday 23rd Feb 2003
We took Georgia to the beach again
yesterday, a café by the sea, which backs on to the beach at ground level. I can not tell you the joy of Georgia playing
in the sea. She has no fear so goes
straight into the waves, 17 months old, and this time today I let her go in as
much as she wanted. She was up to her waste with the waves lapping up to her
neck! She absolutely loved it, even fell
over into the water, and I was expecting her to scream but she just shrugged it
off. She was soaking, still in her
clothes and nappy. I came out soaked in
my shorts, my T-Shirt wet from carrying Georgia, She’d led me astray. Such shear joy to have a little daughter
holding Daddies hand in the sea, and jumping the waves.
This wasn’t about winning or
losing, success or failure, this was unbridled joy for both of us.
I read a magnificent article
yesterday on the Tom Peters website.
It’s
an interview with Richard Farson, co-author of Whoever Makes the Most
Mistakes Wins: The Paradox of Innovation
I was stunned at
just how many thoughts and quotes I found in one interview.
Here are a few.
“John, remember that the team that makes the most mistakes is probably going to win”'
“At another
point you talk about engagement with co-workers or employees as a way to
support and motivate them. Heaping praise on them was not effective, was not
what they were looking for. Can you talk about that because I think this is a
huge issue.
RF: It's the issue,
really. You picked up, certainly, on the central point of the book. Our society
has so many false ideas about how people are motivated. We have overly
emphasized winning and losing, success and failure, offering praise and other
extrinsic rewards, conducting performance reviews and evaluations. By and
large, those approaches are discredited by researchers who really have looked
at the subject. So in the book we are trying to get people to turn away from
such empty techniques, change fundamentally their concepts of success and
failure, and move toward a posture that holds more promise.
When you deeply
get involved with somebody in what they're trying to accomplish, it turns out
that you don't find yourself thinking in evaluative or judgmental terms. These
terms begin to fade. The idea of winning or losing, just as it did for Bill
Russell, becomes less important than the quality of the play.
That's what
happens in these marvellously engaging conversations an executive or a manager
can have with an employee. The more deeply they become involved in discussing
the process of a project, whether or not it’s going well becomes increasingly
beside the point.
That happens
with parents who are involved with their children; it happens with teachers who
are involved with their students. It happens in every deep conversation. The
evaluative dimension of it simply disappears.”
“One of the
reasons we have performance reviews is because it's sometimes the only way top
management can get their managers to spend time talking to their people.
Performance reviews are totally a waste of time as far as productivity is
concerned. All the studies show that it doesn't have any influence on that. But
we do them still, I think partly because it's the only way to ensure that at least
there's one conversation every year with every employee. What we need to do is
encourage more deep, but non-judgmental, conversations. Then a lot of other
things that managers feel like they have to do would be less important.”
“Ambrose Bierce
had it right. In his Devil's
Dictionary, published about a century ago, he wrote,
"accountability is the mother of caution." That's a great line, and
exactly right. If you want real innovation, real learning, real achievement and
real movement toward high order goals, then stay the hell away from
accountability. I know that sounds irrational but that's the fact of it, that's
the way it works.”
Saturday 22nd Feb 2003
I really don’t
understand what goes on with world politics.
I never know what
the real motives are behind a decision.
That’s because
politicians lie and are economical with the truth.
That’s how they
got to where they are today. The art of
compromise.
So why would they
change their ways that got them there.
That includes the
so called good “honest” ones like Tony Benn and Ken Livingstone.
Why is John
Howard such a vocal supporter of the USA line on Iraq?
Is it anything to
do with trade agreements?
Is it an economic
decision as much a security and moral decision?
What is Tony Blair’s
motive? Is it really because they have
the dirt on Iraq?
Why Iraq? Why not Iran?
North Korea? Angola? Zimbabwe?
In which
countries are most people dying from war or starvation?
I don’t know.
Is Blair really
motivated by just stopping Saddam Hussein?
Why now?
Is it really
about his father fighting in WWII, and the Americans supported us against the
Nazis and he sees Saddam and Iraq as equivalent.
George W
Bush? Who the hell knows.
Is it a moral
imperative to stop Saddam?
Why now?
Is it about oil
and power?
Is it revenge for
Daddy, or finishing off Daddy’s work?
Is there really a
conspiracy going on?
I don’t know.
France, Germany,
Russia, and maybe China, are more transparent in their Weasely ways.
It’s about trade
and oil and supporting their own evil interests.
But are USA, UK,
Australia, Spain etc any better. Is it
all not political expediency?
What is it the
Iraqis could do to stop the USA? They’re damned if they do, and damned if they
don’t. And actually I’m more in favour
of this war than against it, but I doubt the motives of the countries involved.
In an ideal
world, Saddam will capitulate quickly.
His army will turn on him.
Iraq becomes a
liberal Arab democracy, influenced by the USA.
Saudi is neutral
at best, Jordan and Syria fall in line.
Turkey acts
better than neutral.
Iran is isolated
and eventually also becomes a free democracy, but for the time being no
threat. The Palestinians are isolated
and are forced to the negotiation table where they finally learn what
compromise is.
And we all live
happily ever after. Is that really the aim?
Is that really what’s going to happen?
Just a few things
I don’t understand which make me really uncomfortable.
Whilst America,
UK and Australia have been patrolling the southern waters off Iraq, Turkey, a
NATO member, freely allows oil to be transported out of Iraq, via Kurd
controlled territory, in lorry tankers queued up for over 100 miles inside
Turkey to transport the oil out of Iraq.
And the USA I assume knows about it and turns a blind eye.
How can that
be? All that money goes into appearing
to be tough on Iraq in the south and yet oil flows in the north?
I just saw a news
item today on Fox, Bill O’Reilly, showing that America turns a blind eye to the
opium trade in Afghanistan. In order to
have the War Lords on their side they let the drug trade continue. And yet on
the home front there’s a war against drugs.
If you’re serious about the war on drugs then surely you’d cut off one
of the biggest suppliers in the world?
Compromise. I don’t mind
compromise, but don’t you politicians come to us asking us for your support on
issues you don’t present the whole case on.
With Iraq, what
do you do, let Saddam stay in power?
That can’t be right can it?
But who decides
which countries are righteous and which are wrong?
That’s all down
to spin and lies as well.
Meanwhile, don’t
most of us just want to get on with our lives, including the Iraq’s, the North
Koreans, even The Palestinians? Wouldn’t
most of them prefer peace at any cost? It’s
just their leaders, the evil politicians plus a few more assholes who ruin it
for the rest of us.
They’re shit as
politicians so they blame other countries.
I’ve written
about this before. I met a Tanzanian
taxi driver in Sydney a few months ago, I asked him why we don’t hear much
about Tanzania and why some countries in Africa have relative peace, and others
have turmoil. Do you know what his
answer was as to why Tanzania has relative peace?
“Leadership!”
Friday 21st Feb 2003
I’ve spent most
of the day thinking and writing about “Who is Tony?”
An overview of my
work to give out to people I have meetings with.
But also to start
to gather together something on my business ideas, which on the whole interlock
into one great magnificent offering.
I guess we all
have to start somewhere and thinking and writing and gathering is at lest a
step in the right direction.
My thinking is
largely done starting at screen, pacing around the house, looking in the
fridge, flicking through the TV channels on cable, surfing the Internet, and
having loads of documents open on my PC!
It seems to work
though, because when I go through this exercise occasionally, I’m amazed at how
many previous documents and notes I’ve created before which help me, or
duplicate this exercise I’m doing.
Only yesterday, I
realised that work I’d put together over a year ago, was relevant to send to
someone. And I found a few MindMaps I’d
already created of MindMaps I was about to start.
And talking of false
memory syndrome, this is an amazing piece of research,
It just goes to
show that what we experienced and what we believe we experienced can be
altered. This may also be why two
people’s word about what they believed happened can be so different. I seem to remember that they’ve done research
on people who think they were at major sporting events like the 1966 World Cup
Final at Wembley, or the 1968 European Cup Final at Wembley, and more people
claim they were there than could have been!
What about the
opposite when you were at an event and you can’t remember being there!
I friend reminded
me that I’d been to a Ramones concert in the early 80s and I’d forgotten until
he reminded me.
Thursday 20th Feb 2003
I have at least
5, billion dollar ideas.
Not just faint
hopes but well thought ideas with a demand out there.
The trouble is,
big flabby companies don’t know what to do with ideas, and there’s too much
fear, politics and stupidity in big companies.
People protecting their positions by doing nothing risky, in fact, doing
nothing!
And if I keep my
ideas to myself then not much becomes of them.
So what’s the
middle ground? Venture Capitlists? My gut feel says no way.
Bank loan? Possibly, but I don’t want to be beholden to
a bank.
Even if the idea
is good and there’s enormous demand, it doesn’t guarantee a success,
Wired 11.03: Segway's Breakdown
I guess that’s
why there’s so many of those self help books out there to help you find your way. I’m re-reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich. Great book.
There other’s I
keep hearing about like
Or even this,
just had an email from the author so I might as well plug his book even though
I haven’t read it or the ones above
Maybe that’s
where I’m going wrong. I need to read a
few of these books and then act.
And here’s
another one of those graphs of how things and people are interlinked
You can pick any
website and see how it’s linked to other websites.
Wednesday 19th Feb 2003
Georgia’s first
day at crèche today.
We both took her
this morning and made a run for it, so she wouldn’t be too upset.
Except she was
and came chasing after us.
It guts me, moves
me to tears to think about it.
I hear she
largely enjoyed it though she was a bit teary during the day, and only had one
hour of her usual two hour mid day sleep, so she came home exhausted and a bit
grumpy.
I think it’s
worse for me and Annie, than it is for her.
I wouldn’t be in
favour of her in crèche 2 days a week if I didn’t think she’d love it and
benefit from it. Though very balanced and gregarious and outward, she’s very
clingy around Annie, and I also think she’ll learn more, by being with other
kids and picking up things from them and the carers. Georgia stayed longer than usual at crèche
for the first day because they had farm animals in today which she loves, so
she stayed on until 3-00pm
But it’s still a
real wrench.
Is it about my
memories as a child and separation from my Mum and letting go of the apron
strings?
Actually, from
what I can remember I enjoyed nursery.
It was just the
pre-school I hated, and my first day at school which was a shock.
I guess Georgie
will be fine, and if she isn’t we’ll do something else.
But how can she
tell us she’s not happy other than crying.
Oh there I go
again tearing up.
To help me
overcome my childhood separation traumas, I recommend a strong dose of EFT.
The more I look
at and read the website the more I like Gary Craig.
Try this one on what
Gary learnt from the O.J Simpson trial.
Palace of Possibilities--Section 11
Tuesday 18th Feb 2003
I’m struck by now
that I work independently and I’m selling to companies, they think that if they
have a meeting with a big a company they can cancel me or be late.
This has happened
a few times recently.
And whilst I
don’t get that irritated by it, I am in wonderment that some people think that
the big company is more important than me and I can be treated with less
respect.
Oh, it’s only
Tony, he can wait.
They miss a few
vital points.
Firstly, if they
treat me this way aren’t’ they likely to prioritise and treat everyone this
way?
I’ve noticed that
those who’ve not treated me as well over the last year are invariably the ones
not doing well in business. I’ve noticed
this specifically with an Australia wide company where I’ve trained all the
States of the organisation. And guess
what, those who respond to my emails and calls, even with a polite no thanks,
are the ones who are doing well. Those
who can’t be bothered to answer their email even to acknowledge I’ve sent them
something, aren’t doing well. I wonder
why that could be?
Because they
treat everyone the same way including their own staff, so no wonder they’re not
doing well.
Secondly, these
people don’t take into account who I know and who I talk to, and I’ve been in
many situations over the last year where I could do them some serious damage
with the people I’ve met. I’m amazed at
how often, people who piss me off, end up in situations where I could serve
their head on a plate. So you never know
do you. The same applies to all of us.
We should treat
everyone with respect.
And on a
different subject but given that you are reading my attempt at a Blog, this
raised my eyebrows and has huge implications,
MediaGuardian.co.uk |
New media | Google gets Blogger and better
Oh, and did the
second evening on my Improv course.
Very good, I
loved most of the exercises, and I learnt one very important lesson at the end,
which is to work with the other person and not play to the audience.
That’s when it
starts to look false when sucking up to teacher or the audience.
I must say I’m
finding it fascinating in the real world.
I was in a
meeting today, suddenly realised I had Improv tonight, and had the meeting with
someone, building on what they were saying, which is a good meeting skill,
re-enforced.
And dissecting
comedians on the telly tonight when I arrived home.
Thanks John Moore if you’re reading this!
And Georgie is
starting crèche tomorrow.
Why does this bring
me close to tears?
I just well up at
the thought of our little 16 month old at crèche.
Not because she’s
growing up, but that feeling that we’re abandoning her.
She’ll love it,
and needs it, to be with other people and kids, and she’ll learn so much more.
But it’s me who
can’t let go!
Monday 17th Feb 2003
So today started
my new regime.
Cut the crap out.
It’s hard to
change old habits, so I was still doing a bit too much internet surfing, and
email reading and sending, but actually I arranged a very good meeting direct
with a client and had some fruitful conversations. I was also reminded of some of the people I
deal with;
The definition of insanity is, doing more of the
same and expecting different results.
That's the definition of insanity. That reminds me of a few people.
Here’s a few websites that may be of interest.
Psycho Tactics:
From Advertising to Psychological Marketing Branding
And I love
Malcolm Kendrick’s writing intelligence and humour,
REDFLAGSDAILY.COM
- MALCOLM KENDRICK, MD
Oh, and I’ve
thought of a new name for my company, but no-one likes it, so I’m not telling
you yet. It came to me when I was
brushing my teeth last night. Don’t you
find that, brushing your teeth, ironing, and having a shower are the deepest
thought times?
Sunday 16th Feb 2003
Tony, it’s time
to change a few things round here starting tomorrow.
I’m really pissed
off with Ecademy.
I’m wasting too
much time on it.
Too much time reading
the EcademyInternal mail list which though interesting, doesn’t actually lead
anywhere for the time spent reading it!
That’s my fault.
Next, I’ve asked
what the rules are for growing Ecademy here in Melbourne.
I can’t tell you
how frustrating it is to try and get an answer to my questions.
Sod it, I give
up.
Next, I’m sick of
having meetings which don’t lead to anything.
I’m sick of
dealing through third parties who of course don’t have my interested at heart
as much as their own, and have no sense of urgency about my timescales. Why would they?
In other words
Tony, go direct to the client. More
direct selling.
And finally, I’m
sick of dealing with people where nothing ever happens or changes and yet they
want things to change. I must make sure
I’m not in danger of becoming one those people.
Either be happy with my lot or do something about it; and I have been
doing something about it, it’s just that I need to do more.
And talking of
changing. This has swayed me from
believing in stopping Iraq now.
Reckless Administration May Reap Disastrous
Consequences
Turns out he’s a
right wing, former KKK, former black hater!
But never mind,
it’s a great speech.
And makes me
wonder if the USA have any plans at all for what happens if Saddam is
toppled. And when you think about it,
that’s more dangerous than Saddam in power, if they don’t’ have a plan. And maybe less people will be killed with
Saddam in power than with him ousted.
Think about it. How many USA and
Allied soldiers will die? How many
Iraqis will die? Compare this with how
many will die in Iraq if Saddam stays in power and add that to the number of
people what will die with a dirty bomb, or chemical, or biological attack
sponsored by Iraq. I reckon the numbers
may be the same. Or greater trying to oust Saddam. Just a point to discuss.
I still think
that history has taught us with dictators that you can’t negotiate.
The question is,
what do you do with the poor people caught in the middle.
In Germany’s
case, bomb the hell out of them.
In Vietnam and
Cambodia’s case, bomb the hell out of them.
In Iraq’s case?
I’m still stuck
by the guy in Bowling for Columbine being
interviewed, with a big fucking rocket behind him. That’s the kind of country (the USA) that
you’re dealing with, who has over 11,000 gun related deaths per year compared
to 60ish in most other European counties.
Now of course, Iraq is of a scale much worse, which is why I’m not anti
USA in this case, but it’s still worrying, that USA mentality, and it didn’t
seem to do Cambodia and Vietnam any good by bombing the hell out of them. Mind you, it didn’t much help the people who died
in Germany and Japan, but it sure helped those countries rebuild.
It could go
either way.
Saturday 15th Feb 2003
I just watched Sleepless in Seattle for the first time today.
I guessed
correctly it was made in 1993.
Now how did I
know that?
Simple really,
1993 was my worst year ever for relationships, or lack of them, and I never got
to see Sleepless in Seattle because I didn’t have anyone to take! And Tom Hanks thinks he has it bad in the
film! It was my worst ever year. Not because any deep traumas happened, but
exactly the opposite. Nothing happened.
The wise Rabbis
say that if you can remember 5 things in year, you’ve had a good year.
Sexless in
Borehamwood.
Living with my
Mum.
I’d just split up
with my partner the previous year, I was working in Borehamwood, my Mum was
living in Borehamwood, by chance, and so the logical conclusion was to live
with her for a while. Looking back, I
don’t know why that was the logical conclusion!
It wasn’t very
good for attracting the chicks, 30+ year old man, back living with his mother.
It wasn’t even
the living with my Mother thing, which caused my failure with the women, I just
happened to meet no women that year.
In fact, by the
end of the year, post relationship break-up which had devastated me, a few
people thought I was a bit depressed and suggested therapy.
So by late ’93 I
joined a Men’s Therapy Group, to work out where I was going wrong.
What was wrong
with Men?
And somehow for
those first 3 months of that Men’s Group, from Oct to Dec ’93, those were the
darkest months of my life. It was dark;
deep winter dark. And sitting in that
group for 3 months seemed to make it worse.
Who were all these Men?
And suddenly in
’94 the clouds lifted. I continued in the Men’s Group, several left and some
new Men joined, and I loved the group.
My whole outlook, and life got better from there on.
I did some one to
one therapy with the guy leading the group, Paul Morrison,
and by the end of that year, I’d joined a course, to train as a therapist. Sex reappeared again, initially with an ex
fling, and she disappeared again just as quickly as she had the first time, but
I didn’t care, I’d broken my duck, I was back on the scene.
Still living at
my Mum’s mind you, but I didn’t care anymore.
Actually I enjoyed those years at my mother’s. I needed the time to find myself, and we got on
really well, and also gave each other space.
I’m really at peace with my Mum because of the time we spent together.
And what an
amazing journey with Paul Morrison I had, from him setting up and running the
Men’s Group which I joined from the start, doing one to one therapy with him,
as my therapist, to watching his film take
shape to becoming an Oscar nominated, award winning success!
So back to
Sleepless in Seattle.
Yeh, I went
through that pain, and I came out the other side.
In fact I went
through the pain again in ’98, and came out the other side!
And in those
years, I learnt what romance and passion are.
My partner who’d
I’d split up from in ’92, had asked me previously what I cared passionately
about.
“Man Utd winning
the F.A Cup!” No wonder she finished
with me.
Better still,
United went on to win more F.A Cups and Premierships than I knew what to do
with! And they did win the first Premiership in 1993 their first for 26 years.,
so was that year really so bad? In fact
things for me and Man United looked up after 1993.
And my passion
and romance in my relationships were much improved!
Friday 14th Feb 2003
Bought the cards,
received the cards, bought the flowers and had them sent.
The cost a
fortune but it was worth it of course.
Had Georgie late
afternoon whilst Annie went to the hairdressers, and then had dinner tonight
with Annie……and my mother in law!
Romantic eh? Just a nice evening
together with the family.
I still love the
article I read a few years ago about romantic love.
Guardian Unlimited | The
Guardian | Passion ploys
It’s romantic
love that binds us together. We’ll never
meet the perfect partner, and besides if we think we’ve found it we move on
when we’ve found even better, or our marriage gets older or our partner gets
older. See today’s current lot of
celebrities who play this game round after round. Instead what they need is a bit of romantic
love to bind them together.
Read the article,
it makes sense then.
And a psychic
puzzle for you to do if you’re not feeling romantic,
http://www.cyberglass.co.uk/assets/Flash/psychic.swf
Thursday 13th Feb 2003
I was just
writing about cribbing homework in my “Sexual Years” about my teenage, when I
found one of my favourite stories, taken from Think and Grow Rich
by Napoleon Hill.
“The attorneys asked Mr Ford a great variety
of questions, all of them intended to prove that while he might possess
considerable specialised knowledge pertaining to manufacture of automobiles, he
was, in the main, ignorant.
Mr Ford was plied with such questions as
the following:
“Who was Benedict Arnold?” and,
“How many soldiers did the British send
over to America to put down the Rebellion of 1776?”
In answer to the last question, Mr Ford
replied,
“I do not know the exact number of
soldiers the British sent over, but I have heard that it was a considerably
larger number than ever went back.”
Finally Mr Ford became tired of this line
of questioning, and in reply to a particularly offensive question, he leaned
over, pointed his finger at the lawyer who had asked the question and said,
“If I should really want to answer the
foolish question you have just asked, or any of the other questions you have
been asking me, let me remind you that I have a row of electric push-buttons on
my desk, and by pushing the right button, I can summon to my aid men who can
answer any question I desire to ask concerning the business to which I am
devoting most of my efforts. Now, will
you kindly tell me, why I should clutter up my mind with general knowledge, for
the purpose of being able to answer questions, when I have men around me who
can supply any knowledge I require?”
There certainly was good logic to that
reply.
That answer floored the lawyer. Every person in the courtroom realised it was
the answer, not of an ignorant man, but of a man of education. Any man is
educated who knows where to get knowledge when he needs it, and how to organise
that knowledge into definite plans of action.
Through the assistance of his “Master Mind” group, Henry Ford had at his
command all the specialised knowledge he needed to enable him to become one of
the wealthiest men in America.
It was not essential that he have this
knowledge in his own mind.”
Three things come
to my mind (beyond the obvious about you don’t have to have the knowledge but
just know how to gain the knowledge).
Wednesday 12th Feb 2003
Started a course
tonight.
Improv!
Yes, me, Tony,
doing Improvisation.
Thanks John Moore
for suggesting it and even finding a course in Melbourne.
Fear and
Trepidation, like my First Day at School.
But sometimes you
have to have blind belief, like learning to drive a car.
You’ve seen others
drive, so you know you can do it as well, not matter how difficult it may
appear.
And it was great
tonight.
Set my creative
juices going, and appeals to my tangential thinking and humour.
I’ve not loosened
up totally yet, but I’m not cowering in the corner either.
Teaches me to be
in the moment and to feed off other people’s cues.
That’s a good
lesson for day 1, back at school.
Tuesday 11th Feb 2003
Just watched the
final episode of The Office, second series, last night.
We’re a bit
behind on this one here in Australia.
What a great
cringingly embarrassing comedy.
Superbly acted
and very well written.
Amazing that it
hasn’t been done before, because we all recognise the characters and ourselves!
Loved the
obsessions going round the office.
Who fancies who.
And most poignant
for me is Tim, where
everything lands on his lap but he doesn’t want a hard life and takes the easy
option. To paraphrase him,
“You can roll a 3
in life and I’ll stick with that.
Sure I could roll
a 6, but I might equally roll a 1!”
And as for Finchy, well every
office has one.
I remember so
well, ICL Manchester Arndale Office, first year at work.
Yes he was there
on our 19th floor.
Monday 10th Feb 2003
I can’t believe
it but I watched most the chess games live, between Kasparov and Deep
Junior. I’ve lost the ability to see a
few moves ahead and to look at each option, but it was still fascinating. In fact a started to struggle years ago when
they moved the modern notation of letters and numbers for the squares! I still find myself counting along the board
or looking at the letters to work out what the hell e4 is!
Fascinating to
follow and to see the progress of computers to beyond “logical” calculating
machines. Deep Junior calculates less
moves per second than previous computers, but has clever algorithms to play
more like a human. And it nearly
worked. Kasparov who is probably the
greatest chess player ever, and won the first game, came out of it drawing 3-3
overall. A win each and 4 draws. It’s tough to play a computer because they
don’t make elementary mistakes. Humans do.
Even Grandmasters sometimes. On
the other hand Grandmasters know themes in chess games which they can aim for
at the end of games knowing they can be won.
This is beyond a computer’s calculation because there are time
constraints and too many possibilities for a chess computer to calculate.
Sunday 9th Feb 2003
A great article
on canning the Shuttle.
When you read
stuff like this you know what a con it is.
Spend the money
more efficiently or on something else.
Stop pulling the
wool over our eyes.
We believe in
science, we want amazing and fantastic things, but maybe not The Shuttle.
The
Space Shuttle Must Be Stopped 2/8/03
Another great
health web site with a healthy disrespect for the medical establishment.
Sick of
Doctors .com The Healing Truth about modern medicine
Saturday 8th Feb 2003
I spent part of
the day adding to my Network Map.
Now it’s getting
really interesting.
I added all my girlfriends
and partners (off course there wasn’t room on one Mindmap!)
Academic exercise
to see where they came from!
And you know
what?
Most of them I
met through friends and family.
Only one was a
random meeting and that was whilst I was out on stag night with a friend.
So much for night
clubs, discos and pubs. Not one
girlfriend from all those nights out.
Similarly, some
people really stand out as influencing my life with their network, and help.
The other pattern
is that there are very few random events that either just happened or were
instigated by me. I’m wondering if I
should create more random events.
Is that where I’m
going wrong?
The other part of
the day was spent taking Georgia down to the beach in Melbourne.
Beautiful day, a
bit windy, but we sat in a café, backing on to the beach, and I carried Georgie
down to the sea and she had a dip of her toes in the water. Life doesn’t get better than this.
Annie and I
sitting at a café table, overlooking the beach and sea, and Georgia playing around
in the sand and wanting to walk in the sea.
This is all a few miles from our house.
My dream come
true.
Friday 7th Feb 2003
I’ve just started
mapping all my contacts on to a map.
I’m using a
MindMap to start with, on Mindjet’s MindManager.
Must find some
good Network Mapping software.
I’m doing it as
part of an exercise to train people in networking.
I thought I’d
train myself to start with.
Questions I ask
people in a group.
What brought you
here today?
How did you end
up here today?
What contacts
with people caused you to be where you are today?
It’s fascinating
to do that and work backwards.
How am I sitting
here typing on my PC in Melbourne?
I married Annie,
an Aussie.
How did I meet
her?
My Aussie cousin
who was visiting the UK a few years ago, passed my name on to Annie, who was
living in London, she contacted me in London after a visit home to Australia.
So I end up in
Melbourne because my cousin came to a family gathering in Manchester nearly 5
years ago. Weird.
Mapping out your
network starts to throw up some very significant patterns.
There are people
in your life who have had a massive influence in terms of contacts they’ve made
for you, and there are also institutions that create a lot of contacts.
Go on, give it a
go.
Map out all your
contacts over the last month and work backwards to see how you met them.
What is great is
when one group connects with another group through two entirely different
routes. One person recommend to me by
two people in the UK, before I moved to Australia, resulted in two thirds of my
business and half my contacts so far, after 18 months, and I’ve never met the
guy. I phoned him in Sydney and he gave me
5 contacts, from which most of my business has come from.
As well as
friends, colleagues, and businesses, I’ve added a random node, where very
occasionally something random happens that I’ve created. Finding a website that leads to something, or
aged 18 going to my careers office to get into University rather than relying
on my school who were screwing my chances up.
What I’ve learnt
from this is to treasure and nature the strong nodes of influence, and to
create some more random happenings.
Thursday 6th Feb 2003
“You're really not going to
like it,” observed Deep Thought.
“Tell us!”
“All right,” said Deep Thought. “The Answer to the Great Question...”
“Yes...!”
“Of Life, the Universe, and Everything...” said Deep Thought.
“Yes...!”
“Is...” said Deep Thought, and paused.
“Yes...!”
“Is...”
“Yes...!!!...?”
“Forty-two,” said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
-The Hitchhiker's Guide to
the Galaxy, by Douglas Adam
It’s my birthday today. Happy
Birthday Me.
Born 6th Feb 1961
Monday 8-00am Whalley Range (Manchester, England)
42.
A big number for me, The Meaning of Life. I love the number and the idea that the
meaning of life comes down to a number. 42.
I also like knowing who has the same birthday as me. So here we go.
Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Tarbuck,
Leslie Crowther, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Rip Torn, Babe Ruth, Patrick McNee, Natalie
Cole, Gayle Hunnicut, Axl Rose, Rick Astley, Lionel Blue, Keith Waterhouse, Bob
Marley, Billy Wright, Fred Trueman, Manuel Orantes, Mike Batt, Eva Braun, Megan
Gallagher, Kevin Whately. I’ve also added Tim Sherwood the Blackburn, Spurs and
England midfielder, and Mike Farrell from MASH,
but I’m struggling to find more famous birthdays on Feb 6th. Munich Air Disaster of course, but that was 3
years before I was born.
Out to lunch today. I may cycle there. Dinner this evening with Annie, who’s bought
me an anorak (actually a great, blue waterproof jacket) for my birthday. And of course hugs from Georgia.
Interesting to look at my
wishes, hopes, and dreams from last year;
Good Health for myself, all
my family and friends, Wealth, Expression of my Creativity, Spirituality, Peace
(inner peace and of course the Miss World “World Peace), a home overlooking the
sea.
I’ll stick with those.
This last year has been a
very good year. Life with Annie here in
Melbourne, Georgia now 16 months old and developing rapidly.
Business and ideas growing
rapidly.
Cheers to another good year.
Wednesday 5th Feb 2003
There’s some
great links to lots of wisdom from this page,
Esquire:Features:What I've Learned:The Collected Wisdom
And it’s
interesting to see that as predicted and I’ve been tracking this for nearly two
years, technology and dating are coming together.
Wired
News: Ring, Ring! It's Your Soul Mate
This whole area
is very big business, and I’m working on an angle for it.
I’d better get on
with it.
And just some
more thoughts on Michael Jackson from yesterday.
The documentary
seemed a little unfair on him, because it showed him as isolated without us
really knowing if he is or not. You see
him alone in the interviews, you see him more or less alone at Neverland. What you don’t see is him playing with his
children, and of course they’re covered up for the camera, but probably not
away from the camera. I’m sure he’s surrounded by helpers and advisors, so it’s
a little unfair to show him as such an isolated person.
I mean he also
has to have a shower, go to the toilet, sleep, eat, communicate occasionally
with people. The documentary didn’t do
him justice on that front. It came as a
surprise later on to find lots of children and other people in his kitchen.
I don’t buy it
that he’s so alone and isolated but that’s what the documentary would have us
believe.
Sure, he’s a bit
deluded and cut off from the world, but of course the documentary was taking a
viewpoint. People are wiser than they’re
credited for and can see through that, as many of these comment made out,
BBC NEWS | Entertainment
| Reviews | Michael Jackson documentary: Your views
Tuesday 4th Feb 2003
Just watched the
Michael Jackson interview/programme “Living with Michael
Jackson”.
I’m stunned. I don’t know what to make of it.
Part pity for
him, part disbelief, part worry.
I can only guess
at what bits he’s telling the truth about and what bits he’s partly lying about
and what bits are total lies.
Childhood,
probably true.
Creativity and
sitting up trees, true.
Innocence and
childlikeness, true.
Face surgery,
he’s lying.
The twists and
turns about his kids and mothers and surrogacy, I have no idea.
And as for the
kids in his house and bedroom. Probably
sweet innocence, but the point is if you’ve been in trouble with that before
you stay well away, and what he’s doing is using his power to laugh at the law.
In some ways he’s
more normal than I thought he’d be, and in other ways even more out of touch
with reality than I believed.
Abuse breeds
Abuse. It’s a difficult cycle to break,
and I don’t think he’s broken that cycle fully, hard as he tries.
What strikes me is
that he should have done these types of interviews a long time ago, to take the
mystery away, and show him to be human, and let people get bored with him.
But it just seems
to go on and on.
Monday 3rd Feb 2003
First day back
after training for a few days, lots to do, so what end up happening?
I notice that the
Kasparov v Deep Blue fourth game
live on the Internet and I have it on in the background with the moves and
commentary running, and I get totally distracted by it!
Absolutely
fascinating. I haven’t played chess for
a long time, but it really caught my interest, a really complex game using my
favourite opening for Black; The Sicilian (Najdorf please). Like as if I
remember it that well!). A really
complex game today which ended as a simple draw. Good thinking time for me, and if I had
nothing else in life, I’d play chess in a park, so maybe I found myself today.
Someone sent me a
CD Video on EFT.
What is EFT? It’s Emotional Freedom Techniques, developed
by Gary Craig.
It’s a method for
dealing with almost anything!
Dr Joe Mercola on his website which
I read every week is a strong supporter of it, so it was a big coincidence to
bump into someone the other week who sent me a video CD of Gary Craig, which
I’ve tried today and seems very promising.
How’s does it
work? Well to describe it sounds cranky
but people swear by it.
It’s about
tapping acupressure points to deal with traumatic situations.
I have a
different idea of how it works but this is just my opinion.
When we look at a
past trauma, we externalise it, and we internalise it by making a story or
fantasy up about what happened. We try to make it mean something.
What EFT seems to
do by physically tapping part of your body, is bring the external memory
towards you and on to your skin surface, but not inside you, so you make these
past events mean even more.
Does that make
sense?
It seems to
settle for just the right place to put the trauma, neither away from you nor
inside you. I gave it a go with one
traumatic event I had from the past, and for a first go it worked so well that
I could connect with the event after that.
I kept thinking of the tapping on my acupressure points instead. Very weird.
I’m going to look into this some more.
And just in case
there wasn’t enough to worry about.
Ultrasound Scans – Cause for Concern
Sunday 2nd Feb 2003
I’ve been away
for a few days running training.
Near Lorne on
Great Ocean Road.
It was a
beautiful drive; long and wide golden beaches.
I’m told it’s
even more beautiful driving from Lorne to Apollo Bay.
Talking of
Apollo, the Shuttle disaster is very sad.
I missed the link
at first on the BBC website
because I thought the photo of the crew looked old and was an anniversary of
the original Shuttle disaster.
Just one thing
I’m wondering about. Why do we make such
a big issue of some deaths like these compared to other deaths of groups of
people. Is it because we feel we know
them better because the media tells us more about the victims which humanises
them. More people are killed on the
roads today, and victims of terrorism and war.
So why does this get to us so much?
A great article
on the record industry and how wrong they’ve got it.
Salon.com Technology |
Embrace file-sharing, or die
Nice to be away
for a few days, and great to be back.